| Relationships are like physical magnets.
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| | are unable to relate with any individual
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| That is why you find that most people who
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| | for long periods of time. Even when they
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| enter into a relationship are alike. This
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| | enter into a relationship they enter
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| also applies to children who have been
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| | hesitantly. They are always worried of
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| abused during their childhood. They
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| | getting into one more unhappy
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| somehow attract other adults who have had
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| | relationship.
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| similar experience.
| |
| | If possible, they would like to find
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| However, very few of these relationships
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| | someone who can give them solace; erase
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| tend to be stable. People who have had a
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| | their painful memories, and make them
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| traumatic childhood need more mature
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| | live normally. But where can they find
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| partners. They don't need partners who
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| | such partners? Their subconscious mind
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| are emotionally and mentally scarred.
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| | keeps telling them to be on guard; and
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| Unfortunately, as the Law of Attraction
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| | not to enter into another bruising
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| states, they continue to attract partners
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| | relationship. That is why most of their
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| who are like them.
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| | relationships are brief and unnatural.
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| Kinds of child abuse
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| | Children of divorced families
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| However, before examining relationships
| |
| | We should also not forget children whose
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| between adults who have had a traumatic
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| | parents break up during their growing
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| childhood it is important to understand
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| | years. These children may not suffer from
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| the different kinds of child abuse.
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| | any direct abuse but emotionally they are
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| Psychologists recognize four clear acts
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| | shattered. The effect is especially
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| of abuse. These are:
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| | noticeable among those children who have
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| 1. Physical abuse: This happens when
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| | seen their parents inflict physical and
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| children are repeatedly beaten by hands,
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| | emotional wounds upon each other. Such
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| fists, sticks etc for small misdemeanors.
| |
| | children tend to slip into depression,
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| Physical abuse may leave permanent scars,
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| | become unnaturally quiet and withdrawn or
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| both physical and emotional.
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| | turn into bullies.
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| 2. Sexual acts: This happens when
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| | They too, when they become adults, get
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| children are forced to touch private
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| | attracted to men and women who come from
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| parts or are made to commit unnatural
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| | divorced families. Many of them would not
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| acts. Most children end up getting
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| | like their partners to go through the
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| confused, and feeling dirty and
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| | same private hell as their parents did.
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| unhealthy.
| |
| | But the insecurity of the past does not
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| 3. Emotional abuse: In this case the
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| | leave them untouched. Many of them end up
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| child is deprived love, affection or
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| | going through similar motions, sooner
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| acceptance within the family. Instead the
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| | than later.
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| child may is constantly shouted at,
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| | Can counseling help
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| criticized, ridiculed and verbally
| |
| | The experience is especially nightmarish
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| abused.
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| | for those individuals who happen to have
|
| 4. Neglect: This happens when a child is
| |
| | suffered similar abuse during childhood.
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| deprived of proper food, warmth, shelter,
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| | They may be initially attracted to each
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| clothing etc. The child then hungers for
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| | other when they first share their
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| material and emotional comforts and may
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| | experiences. They may get a feeling that
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| grow up to have an unhealthy affinity for
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| | they have finally found someone who can
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| physical needs.
| |
| | relate to them. But this euphoria is
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| The unfortunate thing is that most acts
| |
| | short-lived. It is not long before they
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| of child abuse are either committed by
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| | start getting into each other's way, and
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| parents, elder brothers, sisters,
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| | start blaming each other for their
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| stepfathers, stepmothers, babysitters or
| |
| | troubles. The anger and hurt may even be
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| by people who form the immediate family.
| |
| | passed onto unsuspecting children. It is
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| In very rare cases a child will suffer at
| |
| | like a vicious cycle, a story of pain
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| the hands of an outsider.
| |
| | without end.
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| The result is that the child does not
| |
| | What is needed is mature counseling, and
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| grow up into a healthy individual. Deep
| |
| | the willingness to change. The counseling
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| within this individual is a child who
| |
| | is especially helpful in those cases
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| feels threatened and abused all the time.
| |
| | where both the partners seek it together.
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| The individual is like a split
| |
| | They then find one more reason to hold
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| personality, normal on the surface but
| |
| | onto each other. Otherwise, victims of
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| irrational inside.
| |
| | child abuse, who did not get proper
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| The behavior of these individuals also
| |
| | counseling when they were children,
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| tends to be unpredictable. They will
| |
| | continue to live like the proverbial bull
|
| behave normally most of the time. But
| |
| | in the china shop hurting themselves and
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| there will be times when they may turn
| |
| | everyone around them.
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| violent, abusive, and aggressive. They
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| |
|
