| I looked at my father for the last time before he | | | | childhood affected me emotionally and mentally. I |
| was finally laid to rest. And I said to myself, "I | | | | have brought the memories of bygone age along into |
| forgive you father". | | | | my daily existence. |
| I have forgiven him but I have not forgotten the | | | | In all my relationships, everything went well until my |
| turmoil, terror and abuse that I went through. | | | | partners suggested on serious commitments. I would |
| My father was working away most of the time | | | | then sabotage the relationships. |
| when I was growing up. But when he was home, he | | | | I was not able to open up to anyone. I was very |
| was violent. | | | | defensive when given any advice or opinion on my |
| I remembered crying in the middle of the night | | | | attitude and behavior. |
| listening to him beating up my mother. I could hear | | | | When there were arguments, I clamped up or |
| her sobs. And I wept because I could not do | | | | walked off. I never wanted to face any issues and |
| anything about it. | | | | resolve them. |
| I was terrified of him. We were not supposed to do | | | | And I would not cry in front of anyone no matter |
| any thing wrong according to his terms. When I was | | | | how sad or hurt I was. I remembered a time when |
| six years old he pushed my head so hard onto the | | | | my sister was badly wounded and hospitalized. I did |
| floor. I still have the scar on my forehead. | | | | not want anyone to see me cry. I walked away and |
| When my mother was diagnosed with depression, | | | | cried my heart out alone in a secluded place. |
| the four of us siblings had to move and we lived with | | | | I excelled in my career by putting in lots of hours and |
| him. He hired someone to take care of us while he | | | | efforts. Now I realized that it was one way of |
| was away at work. | | | | escaping reality. I kept myself so busy so that I do |
| There was so much fear in us when he was back. | | | | not notice things that needed attention. I was using |
| My father was so angry with one of my brother's | | | | work as a means to avoid commitments. |
| one day that he turned him upside down and wanted | | | | There was one thing that I gained from the |
| to throw him off. I watched that episode with horror. | | | | experience of being abandoned. I was able to sit |
| From then on, I tried not to make any mistake. I | | | | quietly alone for hours and reflect. |
| wept inside because he did not want to hear any | | | | It has developed my fascination on nature's beauty. I |
| whimper. And I continued watching him vent his | | | | love the feel of the wind blowing on my face. I |
| anger on the rest of my siblings. | | | | enjoy watching the rain falling. And no matter how |
| When my father divorced my mother, I did not | | | | bad the weather is, it is still beautiful. |
| know how to feel or react. My mother was back | | | | I became curious about many things. I questioned |
| with us but her depression kept relapsing. We were | | | | others and myself about life and how some things |
| neglected. | | | | happen to certain people. I wondered why people |
| I found solace from friends at school. I enjoyed | | | | behave the way they do. I looked for the answers. |
| reading stories and literature. I spent my time in the | | | | I have developed the strength to persevere. But |
| school library. There was no home sweet home. | | | | that is not enough. I want to become a survivor who |
| My mother could not take care of me. My father | | | | is able to balance her life and enjoy the abundance |
| took me away to live with his new family. It did not | | | | that the universe has to offer. |
| work out. I was sent to a welfare home. | | | | I have decided to break myself free from the |
| I did not deserve to be abandoned but I was | | | | shackles of my fragile upbringing. I promise myself |
| helpless. I was mad with my father. I was not angry | | | | that I will not allow my past to continue ruining my |
| with my mother but I just did not understand why | | | | future. |
| she had to be sick. | | | | This child has grown up and will not weep in silence |
| Until recently, I did not want to admit that my | | | | anymore. |