| What is domestic abuse?There are many forms of | | | | you trust what is happening to you |
| domestic abuse, ranging from screaming threats to | | | | If you are injured, go to a doctor or emergency |
| pushing and shoving. Contrary to what many women | | | | room and report what happened to you |
| think, abuse isn't just physical battering.Domestic | | | | Make sure that they record your visit |
| abuse may include emotional abuse, economic abuse, | | | | Make sure that your children know that it is their job |
| sexual abuse, using children, threats, using male | | | | to stay safe, not protect you |
| privilege, intimidation, isolation and a variety of other | | | | Keep a journal of all violent incidences |
| behaviors used to maintain fear, intimidation and | | | | Start an individual savings account and have |
| power. In all cultures, the perpetrators are most | | | | statements sent to a trusted friend |
| commonly the men of the family. | | | | Acquire job skills |
| Nearly one in three adult women experiences at | | | | If you must sneak away, leave extra money, extra |
| least one physical assault by a partner during | | | | car keys, important papers, and extra set of clothes |
| adulthood, according to the American Psychological | | | | for yourself and children with a trusted friend (avoid |
| Association in a 1996 report.Domestic abuse does not | | | | family members and mutual friends who may be |
| discriminate against race, age and socioeconomic | | | | influenced by the abuser). Include a list of important |
| background. No specific type of woman is more | | | | numbers (insurance numbers, driver's license, |
| prone to being battered by her partner, nor is one | | | | medication, checkbook, credit card numbers, etc.) |
| type of woman completely safe from abuse.What | | | | Practice effective Self Defense Tricks... just in |
| Victims of Domestic Violence Need to Know?The | | | | caseGetting OutWhat to do when leaving an abusive |
| abuse is not your fault | | | | relationship?If you are contemplating leaving an |
| You don't deserve to be abused | | | | abusive relationship, there are some things you should |
| You can't change someone who is abusive | | | | do that may assist you in the process of |
| Staying in the relationship won't stop the abuse | | | | leaving:Make a safety planWrite down Contact Places |
| With time the abuse always gets worse | | | | in the community for support |
| If you stay, make a plan to keep yourself safe | | | | Assess your safety and that of your children |
| when the abuse happens again | | | | Contact a shelter for a safe place to stay |
| You CAN Fight Back!Signs of Domestic AbuseActs | | | | Seek interim custody |
| of domestic violence generally fall into one or more | | | | Seek a support system from family, friends and |
| of these categories:Physical battering -- The abuser's | | | | advocates |
| physical attacks or aggressive behavior can range | | | | Be prepared, it helps you in a case of |
| from bruising to murder.Sexual abuse -- Physical | | | | emergencyMake an Escape PlanMake sure you have |
| attack by the abuser is often accompanied by or | | | | important documents |
| culminates in, sexual violence.Psychological battering -- | | | | Save money in secret when you can |
| The abuser's psychological or mental violence can | | | | Keep extra keys and clothes with friends |
| include constant verbal abuse, harassment, excessive | | | | Plan out all possible escape routes - doors, first floor |
| possessiveness, isolating the woman from friends and | | | | windows, elevators, stairwells and rehearse escape |
| family, and depriving her of food, money, clothes, | | | | routes with your children |
| and destroying her personal property. | | | | Arrange a safe place to go such as a friend or |
| Be Prepared!If you have been assaulted, you can | | | | relative who will offer unconditional support - or a |
| report it to the police.The Criminal Code says that | | | | motel, hotel, or shelter |
| assault is a criminal offence. The Code describes | | | | Memorize the telephone number of a domestic |
| three types of assault and sets maximum penalties | | | | violence shelter or call 911 |
| (called sentences) for each type.The three types of | | | | Secure transportation |
| assault are: | | | | Work out a signal system with a friend or other |
| Simple assault (most common assault). Examples are | | | | family members so that they know you are in |
| slapping, pushing or shoving, punching or threatening | | | | danger |
| that he or she will harm you or your children.Assault | | | | Go when he is gone |
| with a weapon or causing bodily harm. Examples are | | | | Don't tell him you are leaving |
| an assault where you are beaten with a baseball bat | | | | Create an excuse to slip away |
| or an assault where you get a black eye or broken | | | | Avoid arguments in areas with potential weapons |
| bones.Aggravated assault is an assault where your | | | | such as the kitchen, garage, or in small spaces |
| life is endangered or you are wounded, maimed or | | | | without escape routes |
| disfigured. Examples are where the offender | | | | When leaving your home, be aware. Your spouse |
| threatens to kill you or where your injuries from the | | | | may try to hurt you to stop you escaping |
| assault leave you with a limp or scars.Warning signs | | | | Start to learn self defense techniques |
| of an Abusive RelationshipAre you frightened of your | | | | immediately!What can you do if you have been |
| partner's temper? | | | | abused?You can, and you should talk to someone |
| Are you often compliant because you are afraid to | | | | about the abuse. You can tell a family member, a |
| hurt your partner's feelings or are afraid of your | | | | friend, or your doctor. You can also talk to a support |
| partner's anger? | | | | group in your community. Women's centers and legal |
| Do you have the urge to "rescue" your partner | | | | aid offices may be able to tell you of other services |
| when your partner is in trouble? | | | | which offer help.You can get medical help - if you |
| Do you find yourself apologizing to others for your | | | | have been hurt you can go to your doctor or to the |
| partner's behavior when you are treated badly? | | | | Emergency Department at a hospital. If your injuries |
| Have you been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things | | | | are visible you can have pictures taken. They can be |
| thrown at you by your partner when he was jealous | | | | used in court should you decide to lay assault |
| or angry? | | | | charges. There are special medical and police |
| Do you make decisions about activities and friends | | | | procedures for sexual assault cases. For more |
| according to what your partner wants or how your | | | | information, check the Sexual Assault Department |
| partner will react? | | | | and the law in your country.You can apply for a |
| Do you drink or use drugs to dull the pain or join | | | | peace bond (in the countries where this system |
| your partner so he won't get mad? | | | | exist)A peace bond or 'recognizance' is a paper |
| Do you consent easily to your partner to avoid | | | | signed by a person (such as a spouse) promising to |
| angering him? | | | | keep the peace and be of good behavior. The peace |
| What are some of the warning signs? | | | | bond may have other conditions such as requiring the |
| He is extremely jealous. | | | | person to stay away from your home or place of |
| Wants to know where you are at all times. | | | | work. A peace bond may last for up to one year. |
| Gets upset if you spend time with friends or family. | | | | The judge decides how long it will last.You have to |
| Holds rigid expectations of male/female or adult/child | | | | go to court to get a peace bond. You do not have |
| role. | | | | to be assaulted to apply nor do you have to lay |
| He expects you to meet his emotional needs. | | | | assault charges. You do have to convince the judge |
| Blames others and you for his problems. | | | | that you have a reasonable fear of the offender. |
| Threatens you with violence.There may be many | | | | The offender will also be in court.Finding a Place To |
| other warning signs; you can phone the nearest | | | | GoWhen an assault occurs you should attempt to |
| Woman's Shelter for further information.Do | | | | protect yourself. One way you might do this is to |
| something before it's too late!In your contact with | | | | leave the home. If you don't have a friend or family |
| any family member, the following observations should | | | | member with whom you can safely stay, and cannot |
| be considered clues to the possibility of wife assault. | | | | afford a motel, there are shelters in your country |
| A history of wife assault or child abuse in his family | | | | which will accommodate you in an emergency. The |
| of origin. | | | | RCMP or the police, if requested, will escort you out |
| A suspicion of child abuse or sexual abuse in his role | | | | of the family home to any safe place you specify.If |
| as a father. | | | | there are no shelters for you in the vicinity, the |
| Abuse of drugs or alcohol.A history of suicidal | | | | Salvation Army may be able to provide temporary |
| thoughts or suicide attempts.Such characteristics | | | | assistance. It might also be worthwhile to check with |
| as:Impulsiveness | | | | the local Crisis Line or Help Line which may be able to |
| Temper tantrums | | | | provide a list of the organizations that can help during |
| Jealousy | | | | a crisis.National Domestic Violence/Abuse Hotline |
| Possessiveness | | | | 1-800-799-SAFE |
| Excessive dependence on his wife | | | | 1-800-799-7233 |
| ImmaturityWhat do we know about abusers?They | | | | 1-800-787-3224 |
| try to isolate victims from family and friends | | | | TDD 24-hour-a-day hotline staffed by trained |
| They minimize and deny their behavior | | | | counselors ready to provide immediate crisis |
| They veil power and control over others | | | | intervention assistance to those in need. Callers can |
| They blame victims | | | | be connected directly to help in their communities, |
| They distrust others | | | | including emergency services and shelters as well as |
| They often have been victims or witnessed abuse | | | | receive information and referrals, counseling and |
| They usually have low self-esteem | | | | assistance in reporting abuse. |
| They are not in touch with their own | | | | This is a vital lifeline to anyone - man, woman or |
| feelingsPreparing to LeaveKeep evidence of abuse | | | | child - who is a survivor of domestic violence, or who |
| (i.e., pictures, police reports, etc.) in a safe place that | | | | suspects that someone they know may be the |
| is accessible to you | | | | victim of abuse. Calls to the hotline are confidential, |
| Know where you can go to get help; tell someone | | | | and callers may remain anonymous if they wish. |