| For most people, the word abuse implies
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| | nature. It is very subtle and difficult
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| violent andmalicious behavior. In fact,
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| | torecognize because so much of it is a
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| most mistreatment does NOTfall into that
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| | non-behavior, such asgiving someone the
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| category.
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| | cold shoulder or the silent treatment,
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| ALL MISTREATMENT LEAVES EMOTIONAL SCARS
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| | orsimply not being present.
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| There are several basic types of
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| | The fact that a parent may be doing
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| mistreatment, but one thingthat all types
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| | something legitimatelike working and not
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| of mistreatment have in common is that
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| | just hanging out in some bar doesnothing
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| theyall cause great mental suffering.
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| | to alter the fact that the child is
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| It's important to realize that this
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| | deprived of hisparent's company, guidance
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| damage occurs even if theabuse is
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| | and affection.
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| committed out of ignorance or exhaustion
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| | A parent can be physically present but
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| or anyother mitigating factors.
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| | emotionallyunavailable. Some parents may
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| Children have no way of discerning
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| | have too manyresponsibilities and not
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| between intentional orunintentional harm.
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| | enough time or energy for theirchildren.
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| To them, it all hurts just the same.
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| | Others are simply ill-equipped to offer
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| PHYSICAL MISTREATMENT AND NEGLECT
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| | propernurturance or psychological
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| Physical abuse includes any kind of
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| | support. The term emotionalorphan comes
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| corporal punishment:hitting, pushing,
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| | to mind.
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| slapping, burning, biting, and
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| | Another thing that makes emotional abuse
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| evenyanking. You often see parents
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| | hard to pinpoint isthe fact that the
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| yanking their children bythe arm as if
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| | victim is not outwardly mangled.
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| they were dragging something by a leash.
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| | Emotionally abusive behaviors include:
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| These behaviors may or may not leave
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| | - yelling
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| physical scars, but theemotional scars
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| | - belittling, criticizing
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| always remain.
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| | - blocking, stifling
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| There is also neglect, which is a
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| | - too demanding of perfection
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| deprivation of basicnecessities: food,
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| | - domineering, controlling
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| clothing, shelter, medical attention
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| | - name-calling, ridiculing, mocking
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| oradequate supervision.
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| | - not taking interest, ignoring
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| Leaving children alone who are too young
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| | - not showing affection or physical
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| to be in charge ofthemselves and their
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| | contact
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| own safety is not only dangerous. Itis
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| | - constant complaining about providing
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| cruel.
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| | necessities
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| The child might assure the parents that
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| | - general absence or unavailability.
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| it's okay with himbecause he senses that
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| | Threats of abandonment or withdrawal of
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| that's what his parents want. Inreality,
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| | love are veryfrightening and a very cruel
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| the child may be terrified of staying
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| | form of discipline.
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| alone andeven more afraid to say so.
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| | Other forms of psychological abuse are
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| WITNESSING PHYSICAL ABUSE IS EQUALLY
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| | over-protection,adulation and overly
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| ABUSIVE
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| | doting behaviors. And then there
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| Most people do not recognize that just
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| | isover-reliance on a child, referred to
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| witnessing physicalabuse is also
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| | as emotional incest,where the child is
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| horrifying and extremely damaging. If
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| | used to fulfill a void left by an
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| theparents beat up on each other and the
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| | absentpartner.
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| kid is forced to watchor hear or even
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| | All of these behaviors distort healthy
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| witness the aftermath, no one gets out
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| | development andgrowth. Muddled
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| ofthat scenario unscathed.
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| | boundaries make it difficult to form
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| SEXUAL ABUSE IS NOT CONFINED TO
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| | andsustain healthy human relationships
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| INTERCOURSE
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| | later in life.
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| Sexual abuse occurs when a child is
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| | Now, using these parameters, it's safe to
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| forced, tricked, orthreatened to engage
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| | say that the vastmajority of people have
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| in any kind of sexual behavior. It isnot
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| | been abused to one degree oranother.
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| limited to penetration or fellatio or
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| | Unfortunately, these types of behavior
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| fondling. It includeseven watching or
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| | are far toocommon and many of us have
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| listening to any kind of sexual activity.
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| | been affected more deeplythan we care to
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| Most people do not realize that sexual
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| | admit.
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| violation also occurswhen there is a
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| | However, until we acknowledge the truth
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| distortion of boundaries:
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| | of our personalhistory, we will continue
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| - Grown-ups walking in on kids without
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| | to expend tremendous amounts ofpsychic
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| regard for theirintimate space
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| | energy trying to squelch the pain of
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| - Grown-ups being too seductively clad or
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| | thesesubconscious wounds.
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| unclad
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| | In the meantime, it is my hope that a
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| - Ogling the child in a state of undress
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| | greater understandingof how much
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| - Making sexual observations about
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| | long-term damage these behaviors cause
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| someone's body
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| | mightprevent us from perpetuating such
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| These are all inappropriate behaviors and
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| | mistreatment. With a bitof attention and
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| they leave thechild feeling very confused
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| | intention, the abuse can stop here.
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| and uneasy. They might notunderstand why
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| | =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
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| they feel bad, but it becomes a great
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| | -=-=-=-=-=-=-=
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| sourceof discomfort from there on out.
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| | Rosella Aranda, international marketer,
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| EMOTIONAL ABUSE IS DIFFICULT TO DETECT
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| | editor, author,helps entrepreneurs escape
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| The most difficult type of abuse to
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| | their limitations.
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| identify is emotional orpsychological in
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|
