| "Statutory rape" is the term. It's | | | | suffering. In fact, they may not even |
| harsh for a reason. It's a lot more | | | | understand the root of their rage or |
| than just "sexual misconduct" or "sexual | | | | pain. We all know the cliché that men |
| harassment". If it happens to a minor, | | | | are harder to get to the dentist or |
| it's abuse - it's statutory rape. I | | | | doctor because they're supposed to be |
| have been a professional, licensed | | | | "tough". Imagine the courage it takes |
| therapist for over 20 years in the Los | | | | for a man to admit he needs help and to |
| Angeles area, and I can tell you that | | | | go to counseling! |
| the effects of this crime on the | | | | That's why I'm glad my friend Tish |
| victim's soul and very identity can be | | | | Smiley is producing the play, MUSTANG |
| devastating. It forces them to cover | | | | SALLY, which addresses this important |
| themselves with so many layers of | | | | topic. I love theatre in the first |
| protection that they forget (or fail to | | | | place, but I am especially excited when |
| discover) who they were made to be. | | | | plays deal with important dynamics that |
| The good news is that there is a road | | | | need to be exposed. With all the hot |
| back from this abyss. That's what it | | | | news stories about sexual abuse by |
| feels like to many of them - a black | | | | female teachers with their male |
| mark on their soul. Each person is | | | | students, you'd think these occurrences |
| unique of course, so they'll try on a | | | | are a new "trend." This is a |
| myriad of exteriors to disguise how they | | | | misconception. There is no new sin |
| really feel about themselves. Many | | | | under the sun. Unfortunately, it's been |
| become addicted to drugs, booze, | | | | happening for thousands of years. |
| perfectionism and even sex. But inside | | | | Most men and women carry the weight of |
| they feel a frightening blackness, | | | | these sins (sins committed against them |
| almost completely void of self value. | | | | by others) their entire lives. But they |
| And although their victimization might | | | | don't need to. There is freedom if they |
| have been 20, 30 or 50 years earlier, | | | | want it. Yes, it's painful, but not as |
| they feel a deep and sharp sense of | | | | painful as a living the rest of their |
| shame as though it was yesterday. My | | | | lives under the heaviness that keeps |
| job as a therapist is to help them first | | | | them confused about who they are. This |
| admit what happened to them, and to then | | | | is not what God wants. |
| peel off each successive layer of self | | | | In fact, after seeing a few cases of |
| protection as they build up their true | | | | abuse while I was still in my practicum, |
| self. | | | | I decided to name my practice "True |
| People have the concept that the damage | | | | Identity Counseling." I know a lot of |
| from statutory rape or molestation is | | | | people can't afford one-on-one therapy, |
| worse on girls than on boys. Not so. | | | | so, for nearly 15 years, I have led an |
| Not at all. Boys can be equally | | | | eight week Christian based course called |
| devastated by sins committed against | | | | "Hope and Healing From Abuse" in Van |
| their bodies and souls. They wonder why | | | | Nuys, California. The course is |
| they can't have a true sense of peace, a | | | | designed to help the abused see the |
| thankful heart, or healthy | | | | truth about what has occurred, and to |
| relationships. But men are generally | | | | give them the tools to release their |
| less likely to ever admit they are | | | | burdens. |