| Most people at some point in their lives have to deal | | | | many ways of completing a task and having a |
| with a difficult boss. Difficult supervisors vary in | | | | discussion about them at the very beginning will allow |
| personality from being a little pushy or rude, all the | | | | you to see things from their perspective as well as |
| way to being downright abusive. Many people feel | | | | sharing your own with them. Get to know their likes |
| that an abusive boss has control of their personal life | | | | and dislikes inside and out so that you can avoid |
| outside of work by lowering their self-esteem and | | | | future criticisms.5. Know that you can do little to |
| making them live in constant fear. The role of a | | | | change them. Being a difficult person is part of their |
| supervisor sometimes attracts certain controlling-type | | | | personality and therefore it is a very difficult, if not |
| personalities because they crave the power it gives | | | | impossible thing to change in a supervisor, so don't |
| them and because they lack such control in their own | | | | think that you can change how they act. Instead, |
| personal lives. A supervisor has complete control over | | | | change the way that you view their behavior. Don't |
| your most basic human needs-your ability to put | | | | label them as being a jerk--just merely label them as |
| food on the table and a roof over your head. These | | | | your boss. By avoiding derogatory labeling, you avoid |
| are powerful motivating factors that allow a difficult | | | | making it easy on yourself to be angry with your |
| supervisor to control people out of fear of losing | | | | boss.6. Keep your professional face on. Know the |
| these basic needs. We may not be able to always | | | | difference between not liking your boss and not |
| correct their behavior, but we should never have to | | | | being professional. You don't have to make your |
| live in fear and let our difficult boss control our | | | | boss your friend or even like your boss as a person, |
| lives.Here are some strategies on handling a difficult | | | | but you do have to remain professional and get the |
| boss situation.1. Always have a plan B. Most people | | | | job done and carry out their instructions dutifully as a |
| are scared about having a discussion with their boss | | | | subordinate, just as you would expect them to be |
| concerning their abusive behavior because they fear | | | | professional as do their duties as a supervisor.7. |
| reprimand or losing their job as a result of it. Their | | | | Evaluate your own performance. Before you go |
| fear is usually justified if the supervisor is a | | | | attacking your boss, examine your own performance |
| control-freak and feels that their subordinate is | | | | and ask yourself if you are doing everything right. |
| threatening their control. Before you deal with any | | | | Get opinions from other coworkers about your |
| type of conflict, you always need to have a plan B in | | | | performance and see if there is any warrant to the |
| case things don't work out. A plan B is the best | | | | criticisms of your supervisor before you criticize their |
| alternative that you can come up without having to | | | | opinions.8. Gather additional support. If others share in |
| negotiate anything with your boss. In this type of | | | | your concern, then you have the power of numbers |
| scenario, your best plan B would probably take the | | | | behind you to give you additional persuasion power |
| form of having an actual job offer in hand with | | | | over your boss. It is often easy for a supervisor to |
| another employer before you have your talk. By not | | | | ignore or attack one employee, but it becomes more |
| having a back-up plan, you have given your abusive | | | | difficult to attack all of his employees. He might be |
| boss even more leverage over you because they | | | | able to fire one of you, but he will look like an idiot |
| know you have no where else to go. Having a plan B, | | | | (and probably get fired himself) if he tries to fire all |
| however, empowers you with the ability to | | | | of you. An interdepartment union is a good way of |
| walk-away at any time should the negotiation not go | | | | mustering power against an abusive employer.9. Don't |
| right. Increase your power and have a plan B before | | | | go to up the chain of command unless it's a last |
| you deal with the conflict.2. Never react to verbal | | | | resort. Going straight up the chain of command is not |
| abuse or harsh criticism with emotion. This will always | | | | an effective way of dealing with a difficult supervisor |
| get you into more trouble than you started with | | | | because it only increases conflict in the workplace. |
| because it will become a war between egos and | | | | Your immediate supervisor will consider this a very |
| chances are good that your boss has a bigger ego | | | | serious backstabbing maneuver and might seek some |
| than you have-hence why he is difficult in the first | | | | sort of retribution in the future against you and your |
| place. When a personal attack is made on you, they | | | | career. Also, other people in your workplace might |
| are trying to bait you into reacting emotionally | | | | brand you as a whistleblower because of your |
| because once you react, you become an easy target | | | | actions. Try to discuss issues with your supervisor |
| for additional attacks. The key then is not to react, | | | | first and only go up the chain of command as a last |
| but to acknowledge and move on. By doing this, you | | | | resort.10. Encourage good behavior with praise. It is |
| effectively strip all of the power behind their verbal | | | | easy to criticize your superiors, but criticisms often |
| attacks away from your abusive boss, without | | | | lead towards resentment and hostile feelings. |
| creating conflict. If your boss happens to be an | | | | Everyone likes a pat on the back for good behavior, |
| intimidator or a control freak, then the best way of | | | | so you should strive to watch for good behaviors |
| dealing with their behavior is to remain calm and | | | | from your supervisor and compliment them on that. |
| acknowledge their power by saying, "You're right, I'm | | | | Proactive praising is much more effective than |
| sorry." By saying this, you take away any chance of | | | | reactive criticisms.11. Document everything. If you |
| them lashing back at you because you have | | | | choose to stay with a toxic employer, then |
| sidestepped their verbal attack rather than meeting it | | | | document everything. This will become your main |
| head on.3. Discuss rather than confront. When your | | | | ammunition should a complaint ever be filed down the |
| boss criticizes you, don't react out of emotion and | | | | road. Document interactions with them as well as |
| become confrontational with them about it because | | | | your own activities so that you can remind them of |
| that just breeds more conflict. Instead, use their | | | | your own achievements at performance review |
| criticism as a topic for discussion on interests, goals, | | | | time.12. Leave work at work. Get into the habit of |
| and problem-solving and ask them for their advice. If | | | | leaving work at home and not bringing it into your |
| they criticize your work, then that means that they | | | | personal life because that will only add to your level |
| have their own idea on how that work should be | | | | of stress. Keep your professional life separate from |
| done, so ask them for their advice on how your | | | | your personal life as best as you can. This also |
| work can be improved.4. Manage the manager. A | | | | includes having friends who you don't work with so |
| source of conflict usually occurs when a group of | | | | that you can detach yourself from your work life |
| employees gets a new manager who demands that | | | | rather than bringing it home with you.Tristan Loo is |
| things run differently. These changes are usually | | | | the founder of Alternative Conflict Resolution |
| reactionary in nature because the employees go | | | | Services, a consultancy based out of San Diego |
| about their regular duties until the manager comes by | | | | County, California. Tristan is an experienced |
| and criticizes the way it is being done. Instead of | | | | negotiator and an expert in conflict resolution. He |
| waiting for their criticism, take a proactive approach | | | | uses his law enforcement experience to train others |
| and be absolutely clear from the very beginning on | | | | in the prinicples of defusing conflict and reaching |
| how your boss wants things to be done so that | | | | agreements. |
| there is no miscommunication later on. There are | | | | |