After Abuse: The Challenging Work of Forging Healthy Relationships

Many people have done the tough work of recoveryactively maintain safety and respect, both for each
from sexual abuse, whether with help in therapy orother and for the integrity of the relationship.
on one's own. It challenges us to the core, but it alsoPeople without abuse history typically recognize when
frees us, and gives life and possibility where we onceanother person (man or woman) is "coming onto"
felt that we might never get through it.them inappropriately, and they have no trouble telling
For some, getting into a relationship, or continuingthe "intruder," so to speak, to back off. With abuse
with one we've been in, after abuse recovery is ahistory, especially if the abuse was chronic, we don't
fairly smooth process. For others, the challenge holdseven recognize inappropriate behavior, because such
a range of feelings, such as the longing to be loved,behavior was "normalized" during one's childhood. ("I
mixed with uncertainty, anxiety, fear, even panic. Itthought that was normal!" The abuse survivor then is
often comes with a deep sense of undeserving, orless likely to take steps to protect oneself, and is left
the belief, "I am unlovable." Some people will gowith an array of feelings, including frustration,
through a long period of celibacy, even after sexualdisappointment, confusion ("How come this keeps
abuse counseling. Others might try dating, but findhappening for me?"), anger, and resignation ("All men
themselves repeating patterns that occurred inwomen are like this, they just want me for sex.")
abusive relationships, with their new partners.How different it becomes when the survivor learns
Sometimes abuse survivors find it very difficult to beto recognize inappropriate behavior for what it is, use
intimate, either sexually or emotionally, or both. Orappropriate boundaries, move on, and then be able to
they might tend to feel more like a sex object, andopen to what we do want, a person who is
not be recognized for who they are as a person.respectful, loving, honest, and so on.
"Healthy Relationships are not only a source of"As children, when our parents directly contradict our
fulfillment, they are where the final healing takesinner voice, our intuitive knowing, we'll trust them and
place."discount our own truth. As adults, we have to learn
But we can love and be loved, trust, and be trusted,to trust our intuition all over again."
again. I have a number of clients who have sexualAnother unfortunate, but repairable, side-effect of
abuse history, and do the work of recovery, only tosexual abuse is that we have often lost trust in our
discover that they feel handicapped when it comesintuition. If our intuition told us that something that
time to be in a healthy relationship. Yet healthyhappened wasn't right, but all the adults in our family
relationships are not only a source of fulfillment, theysaid, "I don't see any problem here," or "You're lying!
are where the final healing of sexual abuse issuesShame on you!" we get confused. As children we
takes place. I have seen many women and menneed to trust our parents for our basic survival.
overcome their fears, and build healthy and lovingWhen our parents say and do things that directly
relationships.contradict our inner voice, our intuitive knowing, we'll
While everyone is different, there are a fewtrust mom or dad, and discount ourselves. For
common themes that surface for those with achildren, it's safer this way. But as adults, it takes
history of abuse. For instance, it's unlikely that oneretraining to trust our intuition again. This is a gradual
who suffered abuse was taught much aboutprocess, but it can be done. Once we trust our inner
boundaries. Yet good boundaries are inherent in anyknowing more fully, we become confident, more
healthy relationship. This comes up in a variety ofempowered, and more able to receive what is
ways. For example, many couples have learned to bebeneficial to us.
very careful not to say hurtful things to their partnerLove, trust, intimacy, and ease are not only possible;
during a fight; they've learned not to be flirtatiousthey are our birthright. We mustn't allow someone
with others if they are in an exclusive relationship.else's violation of us to impede our right to love and
These may seem like small concerns, but theybe loved. Thankfully, we don't have to.