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The Legacy of Sexual Abuse

The following article is offered for free usegenerally absorb many false beliefs about
in your ezine, print publication or on yourthemselves that can plague them throughout
web site, so long as the author resource boxtheir  adult  life  -  beliefs  such  as:
at the end is included, with hyperlinks.
Notification of publication would be* I've been damaged beyond repair. I can
appreciated.never  heal  and  be  whole.
For other articles which you are free to use,* I'm a bad person. I cause people to abuse
seeme  because  of  my  badness.
Title: The Legacy of Sexual Abuse Author:*  All  I'm  good  for  is  sex.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: Copyright:
© 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: Word* The only way to be safe is to be invisible.
Count:  837 Category:  Emotional  Healing
These false beliefs can cause untold
The Legacy of Sexual Abuse Margaret Paul,heartache  for  the survivor of sexual abuse.
Ph.D.
THE  SPIRITUAL  LEVEL
During the many years I've been counseling
people, I've worked with many people who wereSexual abuse not only causes physical and
sexually abused as children. Some of thememotional harm, it is also causes spiritual
remember it all their lives, while othersharm. It is a form of spiritual abuse.
repressed it and remember it only as adults.Spiritual abuse is any abuse that contributes
In either case, the resulting harm exists onto a disconnection from a spiritual Source of
many  levels.love  and  comfort.
THE  PHYSICAL  LEVELWhen a child is being abused by a trusted
person, a person who is supposed to protect
If a child was violently abused, the physicalthe child such as a parent, relative,
pain may have been so intense as to cause theteacher, religious leader, doctor, or friend,
person to not be able to function in a normalthe child learns that adults can't be
way sexually as an adult. The fear oftrusted. The deepest harm occurs when the
penetration or of oral sex may cause theabuser is a parent. Most children learn to
person to avoid sex entirely, or to be tooproject onto God their experience of their
tense  to  actually  enjoy  sex.parents. If their parents are judgmental,
then they believe that God is judgmental. If
However, even if the abuse was not violenttheir parents are too busy for them, then
and physical harmful, the physical harm canthey believe that God is too busy for them.
be deep. A child's body is not big enough toIf their parents do not protect them or harm
handle the intense feelings of sexualthem, they might conclude that God does not
arousal. When a child is sexually activatedexist. "If God existed, then why didn't God
at a young age, the child may be sostop  my  father  from  raping  me?"
overwhelmed with the feelings that he or she
ends up constantly masturbating to find someSome children leave their bodies when being
relief. Incessant masturbation is one of theseverely abused. Invariably, with therapeutic
symptoms of sexual abuse. As an adult, thishelp, they can remember that they were
could translate into various forms sexuallovingly held by a spiritual teacher and told
addiction.that the abuse was not their fault. Much
healing occurs with these memories. They can
THE  EMOTIONAL  LEVELremember knowing that they were being helped
by God, even though, due to the law of free
The harm done on the emotional level iswill, God could not stop the abuser from
extensive. Sexual abuse is a deep form ofabusing  them.
violation, and invariably leads to the child
feeling objectified. The child comes to seeReconnecting on the spiritual level is the
herself or himself as an object to be usedkey to healing on the physical and emotional
rather than as a person deserving of caring.levels. Through connection with Spirit, abuse
This objectification of the self can lead tosurvivors learn that they are not irrevocably
promiscuity at a young age, or to other formsdamaged, that they are not inherently bad and
of  being  used  and  abused.did not cause themselves to be abused, that
they can share much more than sex - they can
One of the deepest levels of harm is that theshare their love and compassion, and that
child tends to absorb the darkness of thethey can create their own safety rather than
abuser. The child, not knowing that he or shebe invisible as a way to be safe. Their false
is not causing the abuser to be abusive,beliefs are healed through the truth that
takes on the shame of the abuser. It is as ifcomes  from  their  spiritual  connection.
the darkness of the abuser goes right into
the child. As a result, the abused personLearning to be a loving and compassionate
grows up with a feeling of being a very badadult with oneself is the major challenge for
person, with a huge ball of darkness within.an abuse survivor. Deep healing occurs when
Most survivors of childhood sexual abuse needsurvivors learn to see and value the beauty
to go through a process of realizing thatof their own soul, and learn to treat
this darkness does not belong to them andthemselves with respect, caring and
releasing  it.compassion. Inner safety and deep self worth
are the results of learning to treat oneself
Children who have been sexually abusedwith love.



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