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The Legacy of Sexual Abuse

The following article is offered forthroughout their adult life - beliefs
free use in your ezine, printsuch as:
publication or on your web site, so long* I've been damaged beyond repair. I can
as the author resource box at the end isnever heal and be whole.
included, with hyperlinks. Notification* I'm a bad person. I cause people to
of publication would be appreciated.abuse me because of my badness.
For other articles which you are free to* All I'm good for is sex.
use, see* The only way to be safe is to be
Title: The Legacy of Sexual Abuseinvisible.
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail:These false beliefs can cause untold
Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paulheartache for the survivor of sexual
URL: Word Count: 837 Category:abuse.
Emotional HealingTHE SPIRITUAL LEVEL
The Legacy of Sexual Abuse MargaretSexual abuse not only causes physical
Paul, Ph.D.and emotional harm, it is also causes
During the many years I've beenspiritual harm. It is a form of
counseling people, I've worked with manyspiritual abuse. Spiritual abuse is any
people who were sexually abused asabuse that contributes to a
children. Some of them remember it alldisconnection from a spiritual Source of
their lives, while others repressed itlove and comfort.
and remember it only as adults. InWhen a child is being abused by a
either case, the resulting harm existstrusted person, a person who is supposed
on many levels.to protect the child such as a parent,
THE PHYSICAL LEVELrelative, teacher, religious leader,
If a child was violently abused, thedoctor, or friend, the child learns that
physical pain may have been so intenseadults can't be trusted. The deepest
as to cause the person to not be able toharm occurs when the abuser is a parent.
function in a normal way sexually as anMost children learn to project onto God
adult. The fear of penetration or oftheir experience of their parents. If
oral sex may cause the person to avoidtheir parents are judgmental, then they
sex entirely, or to be too tense tobelieve that God is judgmental. If their
actually enjoy sex.parents are too busy for them, then they
However, even if the abuse was notbelieve that God is too busy for them.
violent and physical harmful, theIf their parents do not protect them or
physical harm can be deep. A child'sharm them, they might conclude that God
body is not big enough to handle thedoes not exist. "If God existed, then
intense feelings of sexual arousal.why didn't God stop my father from
When a child is sexually activated at araping me?"
young age, the child may be soSome children leave their bodies when
overwhelmed with the feelings that he orbeing severely abused. Invariably, with
she ends up constantly masturbating totherapeutic help, they can remember that
find some relief. Incessant masturbationthey were lovingly held by a spiritual
is one of the symptoms of sexual abuse.teacher and told that the abuse was not
As an adult, this could translate intotheir fault. Much healing occurs with
various forms sexual addiction.these memories. They can remember
THE EMOTIONAL LEVELknowing that they were being helped by
The harm done on the emotional level isGod, even though, due to the law of free
extensive. Sexual abuse is a deep formwill, God could not stop the abuser from
of violation, and invariably leads toabusing them.
the child feeling objectified. The childReconnecting on the spiritual level is
comes to see herself or himself as anthe key to healing on the physical and
object to be used rather than as aemotional levels. Through connection
person deserving of caring. Thiswith Spirit, abuse survivors learn that
objectification of the self can lead tothey are not irrevocably damaged, that
promiscuity at a young age, or to otherthey are not inherently bad and did not
forms of being used and abused.cause themselves to be abused, that they
One of the deepest levels of harm iscan share much more than sex - they can
that the child tends to absorb theshare their love and compassion, and
darkness of the abuser. The child, notthat they can create their own safety
knowing that he or she is not causingrather than be invisible as a way to be
the abuser to be abusive, takes on thesafe. Their false beliefs are healed
shame of the abuser. It is as if thethrough the truth that comes from their
darkness of the abuser goes right intospiritual connection.
the child. As a result, the abusedLearning to be a loving and
person grows up with a feeling of beingcompassionate adult with oneself is the
a very bad person, with a huge ball ofmajor challenge for an abuse survivor.
darkness within. Most survivors ofDeep healing occurs when survivors learn
childhood sexual abuse need to goto see and value the beauty of their own
through a process of realizing that thissoul, and learn to treat themselves with
darkness does not belong to them andrespect, caring and compassion. Inner
releasing it.safety and deep self worth are the
Children who have been sexually abusedresults of learning to treat oneself
generally absorb many false beliefswith love.
about themselves that can plague them



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