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The Legacy of Sexual Abuse

The following article is offered for free themselves that can plague them
use in your ezine, print publication or throughout their adult life - beliefs
on your web site, so long as the author such as:
resource box at the end is included, with * I've been damaged beyond repair. I can
hyperlinks. Notification of publication never heal and be whole.
would be appreciated. * I'm a bad person. I cause people to
For other articles which you are free to abuse me because of my badness.
use, see * All I'm good for is sex.
Title: The Legacy of Sexual Abuse * The only way to be safe is to be
Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D. E-mail: invisible.
Copyright: © 2004 by Margaret Paul URL: These false beliefs can cause untold
Word Count: 837 Category: Emotional heartache for the survivor of sexual
Healing abuse.
The Legacy of Sexual Abuse Margaret THE SPIRITUAL LEVEL
Paul, Ph.D. Sexual abuse not only causes physical and
During the many years I've been emotional harm, it is also causes
counseling people, I've worked with many spiritual harm. It is a form of spiritual
people who were sexually abused as abuse. Spiritual abuse is any abuse that
children. Some of them remember it all contributes to a disconnection from a
their lives, while others repressed it spiritual Source of love and comfort.
and remember it only as adults. In either When a child is being abused by a trusted
case, the resulting harm exists on many person, a person who is supposed to
levels. protect the child such as a parent,
THE PHYSICAL LEVEL relative, teacher, religious leader,
If a child was violently abused, the doctor, or friend, the child learns that
physical pain may have been so intense as adults can't be trusted. The deepest harm
to cause the person to not be able to occurs when the abuser is a parent. Most
function in a normal way sexually as an children learn to project onto God their
adult. The fear of penetration or of oral experience of their parents. If their
sex may cause the person to avoid sex parents are judgmental, then they believe
entirely, or to be too tense to actually that God is judgmental. If their parents
enjoy sex. are too busy for them, then they believe
However, even if the abuse was not that God is too busy for them. If their
violent and physical harmful, the parents do not protect them or harm them,
physical harm can be deep. A child's body they might conclude that God does not
is not big enough to handle the intense exist. "If God existed, then why didn't
feelings of sexual arousal. When a child God stop my father from raping me?"
is sexually activated at a young age, the Some children leave their bodies when
child may be so overwhelmed with the being severely abused. Invariably, with
feelings that he or she ends up therapeutic help, they can remember that
constantly masturbating to find some they were lovingly held by a spiritual
relief. Incessant masturbation is one of teacher and told that the abuse was not
the symptoms of sexual abuse. As an their fault. Much healing occurs with
adult, this could translate into various these memories. They can remember knowing
forms sexual addiction. that they were being helped by God, even
THE EMOTIONAL LEVEL though, due to the law of free will, God
The harm done on the emotional level is could not stop the abuser from abusing
extensive. Sexual abuse is a deep form of them.
violation, and invariably leads to the Reconnecting on the spiritual level is
child feeling objectified. The child the key to healing on the physical and
comes to see herself or himself as an emotional levels. Through connection with
object to be used rather than as a person Spirit, abuse survivors learn that they
deserving of caring. This objectification are not irrevocably damaged, that they
of the self can lead to promiscuity at a are not inherently bad and did not cause
young age, or to other forms of being themselves to be abused, that they can
used and abused. share much more than sex - they can share
One of the deepest levels of harm is that their love and compassion, and that they
the child tends to absorb the darkness of can create their own safety rather than
the abuser. The child, not knowing that be invisible as a way to be safe. Their
he or she is not causing the abuser to be false beliefs are healed through the
abusive, takes on the shame of the truth that comes from their spiritual
abuser. It is as if the darkness of the connection.
abuser goes right into the child. As a Learning to be a loving and compassionate
result, the abused person grows up with a adult with oneself is the major challenge
feeling of being a very bad person, with for an abuse survivor. Deep healing
a huge ball of darkness within. Most occurs when survivors learn to see and
survivors of childhood sexual abuse need value the beauty of their own soul, and
to go through a process of realizing that learn to treat themselves with respect,
this darkness does not belong to them and caring and compassion. Inner safety and
releasing it. deep self worth are the results of
Children who have been sexually abused learning to treat oneself with love.
generally absorb many false beliefs about




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