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Why Is Marital Therapy Dangerous for Domestic Abuse Survivors?

We assume that a problem affecting two peoplepartner.
in a relationship is material for marital or
couples therapy. However, when the problem isWhile this may keep the couple and family
intimate partner violence, this is absolutelytogether, it does not--and cannot--end the
not so! This article looks at how and whybattering. To the contrary, it exacerbates
marital therapy can potentially exacerbatebattering: emotional abuse, verbal abuse and
intimate partner abuse.physical abuse. Some clinicians view this
We assume that a problem affecting twomethod of treatment in domestic violence
people in a relationship is material forcases not only as ineffective in stopping
marital or couples therapy. However, when thedomestic abuse, but also as dangerous for the
problem is intimate partner violence, this isvictimized partner. That was certainly my
absolutely  not  so!experience. The altercations increased in
frequency and in intensity--from verbal licks
I longed for my children's father, myand emotional assaults to bruises, welts,
ex-husband, to stop his violent outburstsfists  and  belts.
toward our family. The psychologist/doctor
family peacemaker in me said, "We just needAs a domestic violence survivor, my hope is
to find the 'right' person or method to helpthat you seek appropriate intervention if
fix this problem," as though he had someintimate partner violence presents in your
physical aliment. This may sound familiar torelationship. Many people, both healthcare
those of you who have been there. Altercationand non-healthcare professionals, are unaware
after altercation drove me to desperatelyof the appropriate intervention for domestic
seek a referral from my pediatrician and fromabuse.
my  obstetrician.
And even more alarming: few healthcare
It was suggested that we see an "abuseproviders have a systematic method for
therapist," who was actually a marriage andassessing partner/spousal abuse (intimate
family therapist. My professional backgroundpartner violence). Without proper assessment,
was in bio-behavioral medicine, so I was inone could be treating your problem "in the
foreign territory and eventually found out wedark."
were in the wrong therapy for the outcome I
desired.If you are indeed dealing with intimate
partner violence, look to find a domestic
Marital therapy, couples therapy and familyabuse victim advocacy program and a
therapy are improper treatment scenarios tobatterer's intervention program. These
effect therapeutic change for domestic abuse.approaches treat battering similarly to the
The problem is that these interventions areway addiction interventions treat substance
based on a family systems perspective inabuse: that is, as the responsibility of the
which the goal of the treatment is toabuser. Until an intimate partner abuser is
maintain  the  homeostasis  of  the  system.held accountable, domestic abuse continues
over time, and is passed down throughout
Working from a systems approach, thegenerations.
therapist seeks to distribute responsibility
for the pathology across the system. However,If your are not sure if your relationship
spreading the responsibility for battering inabuse problems are actually that
relationships equally to all parties in thecharacteristic of intimate partner violence,
relationship reinforces the abuse dynamic. Itthen use an intimate partner abuse assessment
explicitly and/or implicitly blames thescreen that accurately identifies intimate
victim for the perpetrator's behavior, andpartner violence. This way you will know what
fails to promote personal accountability forcourse of intervention to pursue in order to
the battering behavior by the abusiveprovide you with your desired outcome.



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