| We assume that a problem affecting two people in a | | | | the abusive partner. |
| relationship is material for marital or couples therapy. | | | | While this may keep the couple and family together, |
| However, when the problem is intimate partner | | | | it does not--and cannot--end the battering. To the |
| violence, this is absolutely not so! This article looks at | | | | contrary, it exacerbates battering: emotional abuse, |
| how and why marital therapy can potentially | | | | verbal abuse and physical abuse. Some clinicians view |
| exacerbate intimate partner abuse. We assume that | | | | this method of treatment in domestic violence cases |
| a problem affecting two people in a relationship is | | | | not only as ineffective in stopping domestic abuse, |
| material for marital or couples therapy. However, | | | | but also as dangerous for the victimized partner. That |
| when the problem is intimate partner violence, this is | | | | was certainly my experience. The altercations |
| absolutely not so! | | | | increased in frequency and in intensity--from verbal |
| I longed for my children's father, my ex-husband, to | | | | licks and emotional assaults to bruises, welts, fists |
| stop his violent outbursts toward our family. The | | | | and belts. |
| psychologist/doctor/family peacemaker in me said, | | | | As a domestic violence survivor, my hope is that you |
| "We just need to find the 'right' person or method to | | | | seek appropriate intervention if intimate partner |
| help fix this problem," as though he had some | | | | violence presents in your relationship. Many people, |
| physical aliment. This may sound familiar to those of | | | | both healthcare and non-healthcare professionals, are |
| you who have been there. Altercation after | | | | unaware of the appropriate intervention for domestic |
| altercation drove me to desperately seek a referral | | | | abuse. |
| from my pediatrician and from my obstetrician. | | | | And even more alarming: few healthcare providers |
| It was suggested that we see an "abuse therapist," | | | | have a systematic method for assessing partner |
| who was actually a marriage and family therapist. My | | | | spousal abuse (intimate partner violence). Without |
| professional background was in bio-behavioral | | | | proper assessment, one could be treating your |
| medicine, so I was in foreign territory and eventually | | | | problem "in the dark." |
| found out we were in the wrong therapy for the | | | | If you are indeed dealing with intimate partner |
| outcome I desired. | | | | violence, look to find a domestic abuse victim |
| Marital therapy, couples therapy and family therapy | | | | advocacy program and a batterer's intervention |
| are improper treatment scenarios to effect | | | | program. These approaches treat battering similarly |
| therapeutic change for domestic abuse. The problem | | | | to the way addiction interventions treat substance |
| is that these interventions are based on a family | | | | abuse: that is, as the responsibility of the abuser. Until |
| systems perspective in which the goal of the | | | | an intimate partner abuser is held accountable, |
| treatment is to maintain the homeostasis of the | | | | domestic abuse continues over time, and is passed |
| system. | | | | down throughout generations. |
| Working from a systems approach, the therapist | | | | If your are not sure if your relationship abuse |
| seeks to distribute responsibility for the pathology | | | | problems are actually that characteristic of intimate |
| across the system. However, spreading the | | | | partner violence, then use an intimate partner abuse |
| responsibility for battering in relationships equally to all | | | | assessment screen that accurately identifies intimate |
| parties in the relationship reinforces the abuse | | | | partner violence. This way you will know what course |
| dynamic. It explicitly and/or implicitly blames the victim | | | | of intervention to pursue in order to provide you |
| for the perpetrator's behavior, and fails to promote | | | | with your desired outcome. |
| personal accountability for the battering behavior by | | | | |