| We assume that a problem affecting two people | | | | partner. |
| in a relationship is material for marital or | | | | |
| couples therapy. However, when the problem is | | | | While this may keep the couple and family |
| intimate partner violence, this is absolutely | | | | together, it does not--and cannot--end the |
| not so! This article looks at how and why | | | | battering. To the contrary, it exacerbates |
| marital therapy can potentially exacerbate | | | | battering: emotional abuse, verbal abuse and |
| intimate partner abuse. | | | | physical abuse. Some clinicians view this |
| We assume that a problem affecting two | | | | method of treatment in domestic violence |
| people in a relationship is material for | | | | cases not only as ineffective in stopping |
| marital or couples therapy. However, when the | | | | domestic abuse, but also as dangerous for the |
| problem is intimate partner violence, this is | | | | victimized partner. That was certainly my |
| absolutely not so! | | | | experience. The altercations increased in |
| | | | frequency and in intensity--from verbal licks |
| I longed for my children's father, my | | | | and emotional assaults to bruises, welts, |
| ex-husband, to stop his violent outbursts | | | | fists and belts. |
| toward our family. The psychologist/doctor | | | | |
| family peacemaker in me said, "We just need | | | | As a domestic violence survivor, my hope is |
| to find the 'right' person or method to help | | | | that you seek appropriate intervention if |
| fix this problem," as though he had some | | | | intimate partner violence presents in your |
| physical aliment. This may sound familiar to | | | | relationship. Many people, both healthcare |
| those of you who have been there. Altercation | | | | and non-healthcare professionals, are unaware |
| after altercation drove me to desperately | | | | of the appropriate intervention for domestic |
| seek a referral from my pediatrician and from | | | | abuse. |
| my obstetrician. | | | | |
| | | | And even more alarming: few healthcare |
| It was suggested that we see an "abuse | | | | providers have a systematic method for |
| therapist," who was actually a marriage and | | | | assessing partner/spousal abuse (intimate |
| family therapist. My professional background | | | | partner violence). Without proper assessment, |
| was in bio-behavioral medicine, so I was in | | | | one could be treating your problem "in the |
| foreign territory and eventually found out we | | | | dark." |
| were in the wrong therapy for the outcome I | | | | |
| desired. | | | | If you are indeed dealing with intimate |
| | | | partner violence, look to find a domestic |
| Marital therapy, couples therapy and family | | | | abuse victim advocacy program and a |
| therapy are improper treatment scenarios to | | | | batterer's intervention program. These |
| effect therapeutic change for domestic abuse. | | | | approaches treat battering similarly to the |
| The problem is that these interventions are | | | | way addiction interventions treat substance |
| based on a family systems perspective in | | | | abuse: that is, as the responsibility of the |
| which the goal of the treatment is to | | | | abuser. Until an intimate partner abuser is |
| maintain the homeostasis of the system. | | | | held accountable, domestic abuse continues |
| | | | over time, and is passed down throughout |
| Working from a systems approach, the | | | | generations. |
| therapist seeks to distribute responsibility | | | | |
| for the pathology across the system. However, | | | | If your are not sure if your relationship |
| spreading the responsibility for battering in | | | | abuse problems are actually that |
| relationships equally to all parties in the | | | | characteristic of intimate partner violence, |
| relationship reinforces the abuse dynamic. It | | | | then use an intimate partner abuse assessment |
| explicitly and/or implicitly blames the | | | | screen that accurately identifies intimate |
| victim for the perpetrator's behavior, and | | | | partner violence. This way you will know what |
| fails to promote personal accountability for | | | | course of intervention to pursue in order to |
| the battering behavior by the abusive | | | | provide you with your desired outcome. |