| Are you a mobber? Have you ever made fun of | | | | beings for too long. When I share this observation |
| people behind their backs? Spread rumors? Played | | | | during a presentation, virtually everyone in the room |
| practical jokes that weren't really funny and got | | | | expresses agreement. |
| others to join in your laughter? Have you joined in | | | | When a person is treated like an object, there is the |
| some of this behavior thinking you were right or | | | | tendency to see others that way also. The target of |
| justified, or perhaps because you didn't want to be | | | | a mobbing or bullying isn't viewed as a person, but |
| excluded from the group? If you ever have done | | | | rather as a 'sort of a person.' Certainly not as much |
| this, don't beat yourself up over it. Just be aware the | | | | of a person as someone the perpetrator knows well |
| next time you are tempted to treat another person | | | | or with whom they share caring feelings. |
| in this way that this is bullying and mobbing is group | | | | What happens to school bullies and mobbers when |
| bullying. | | | | they grow up and become workers? Do they stop |
| It is a 'ganging up' on someone using the tactics of | | | | that behavior, if it was successful for them, just |
| rumor, innuendo, discrediting, isolating, intimidating, and | | | | because they are grown up and 'big people' now? No. |
| above all, making it look as if the targeted person is | | | | They often turn to subtlety, because overt bullying |
| responsible. As is typical of many abusive situations, | | | | behavior can be construed as harassment. |
| the perpetrators maintain that the victim 'deserved it.' | | | | Insight and awareness play a major role in change. So |
| Mobbing is emotional abuse that results in depression, | | | | many people engage in this type of behavior without |
| isolation, paranoia, physical and/or emotional illness, | | | | thinking. Prevention includes paying attention not only |
| sometimes suicide, sometimes overt acts of | | | | to what we're doing but also to what is going on |
| retaliation and aggression. At the very least, it leaves | | | | around us. Most people don't intentionally abuse |
| permanent scars. Many targets suffer from post | | | | someone. When Swedish researchers explained to |
| traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). There is always | | | | co-workers what had happened to the individual as a |
| injury. | | | | result of their actions, they were appalled that they |
| Mobbing has no age preference, no gender | | | | could have participated in anything that would have |
| preference, no race preference, and no work | | | | damaged another human being to that extent. |
| preference. It can happen to anyone. It can happen | | | | We pay attention to the big stories that are |
| to you, someone you care about, or the person | | | | showcased in the media. Our lives are full of little |
| sitting next to you in any environment. It may have | | | | stories that are never broadcast. We don't hear |
| already happened to you or to someone you know | | | | about the child who is afraid to ride the school bus |
| and you didn't understand what it was. When a | | | | because no one will sit with them or because of |
| mobbing is in progress it can be one of the most | | | | what others say to them. We don't hear about the |
| confusing situations in which you will find yourself. It is | | | | worker who dreads going to work and suffers from |
| so subtle that you begin to wonder if perhaps your | | | | nightmares because of the work environment. We |
| abusers are right and that you aren't the person you | | | | don't hear about the people who are so distracted |
| always thought you were. It shatters self-esteem. | | | | by this type of behavior being directed at them that |
| How many of us saw bullies picking on kids in the | | | | they are involved in an auto accident. We don't hear |
| school yard while we were growing up? Everyone | | | | about divorces or other forms of personal suffering. |
| saw that! Since the shooting in San Diego, after | | | | Just because a person hasn't been 'beaten up' |
| which the perpetrator stated that he had been | | | | doesn't mean that they haven't been beaten up |
| bullied, a huge public awareness campaign was | | | | inside. |
| launched. Many articles recently have been written on | | | | Here's an example of how insight and awareness can |
| the subject. | | | | make a difference. A woman had read the mobbing |
| Mobbing has been a household word in | | | | book and was telling someone about it. These two |
| German-speaking countries for many years. The | | | | attended an aerobics class together. There was a |
| original research on workplace mobbing was done in | | | | relatively new member of the class who was rather |
| Sweden, beginning in the early 1980's, by industrial | | | | uncoordinated and as a result was throwing |
| psychologist Dr. Heinz Leymann. | | | | everyone off of their rhythm. Although she was |
| Two years ago, my co-authors and I published a | | | | friendly, the other class members talked about her, |
| book called Mobbing: Emotional Abuse in the American | | | | made fun of her behind her back and wished she'd |
| Workplace. After the Columbine High School incident, | | | | just drop out and leave. Suddenly one of the two |
| I developed dignity and respect communication | | | | chatting about mobbing said, "'Oh my goodness! Are |
| workshops for teens and created mobbing | | | | we mobbing this woman??" |
| awareness posters for schools and businesses. | | | | It was a revelation. They decided to get to know |
| The response to these efforts has been minimal. | | | | the woman better. They found that she was an |
| Unfortunately, people usually don't become interested | | | | intelligent, professional person who did a lot of good |
| in an issue until it personally affects them or | | | | work with teens. They found that when they looked |
| threatens their immediate interests in some way. For | | | | past her loud voice and her uncoordinated |
| example, we may not worry about pollution until our | | | | movements that she was a person who they could |
| own drinking water is fouled. In this case, someone | | | | like and respect. That's what the word respect |
| had to die and a finger directly pointed at this type | | | | means as I interpret it. To 'look again.' |
| of behavior before anyone would pay real attention | | | | The woman is still in the class. She stands in the back |
| to this issue, though all of us have been aware of | | | | row. And the others have stopped their mobbing |
| this type of problem for years. | | | | behavior simply because they became aware of |
| The response to potential violence is more reactive | | | | what they were doing, and the implications and |
| than proactive. Instead of creating awareness and | | | | potential result of their actions. Most of us choose to |
| promoting dignity and respect for all people, security | | | | believe that we are basically good human beings. And |
| systems and surveillance cameras are installed. Stiffer | | | | we're right. The more aware we become of the fact |
| gun control laws are suggested. The plain truth is that | | | | that others are good human beings also, worthy and |
| many people are walking around with a deep anger | | | | entitled to be treated with dignity and respect |
| inside of them and don't know why. I believe that | | | | without exception, the closer we will be to recreating |
| one of the reasons is because so many have been | | | | our world and helping to heal it. Awareness is the |
| treated like objects rather than as unique human | | | | key. |